checklist

I am approaching february 14th very quickly. This is fantastic because by then someone is going to cart me onto a plane and then onto a severely smaller plane and then onto an even smaller boat and set me in a river full of american alligators but all will be good. I will have then arrived in Belize where I will spend 12 days in a jungle full of everything that both pleases me and scares me shitless (I don't know if this is from fright or just parasites). 8 days on the Sittee River in a jungle and then 4 on a Mangrove Island all secluded from anything Travel Cuts is offering for spring break.

Things to take care of:

1. I need a sleeping net. From what I hear, malaria will ruin my stay.

2. I want to bring a tape recorder. I think the sound quality will fail but I want
to record an hour of noise in the middle of the night. I think it will make a
better memory than pictures.

3. Read that damn camera guide before I spend two weeks taking awful pictures of
beautiful things.

4. Remember not to sit on the ground while I'm there, its a welcome mat for
ass problems. (and if it isn't obvious bring TP, leaves especially of the
tropical variety do not double as bathroom tissue)

5. buy a bathing suit, that idiot crackhead who stole my bag last summer also has
a teal coloured tankini. I hope he like to swim.

6. try not to watch scary movies about backpackers, large reptiles, or "Outbreak",
OR watch them all to get psyched up.

7. ensure that my mom doesn't watch any of these movies, there is no chance
they'll help her in any way.

8. don't bring anything back, this includes the unlikely Brokedown Palace
scenario or pretty things I find on the beach... except maybe a rock for mere.

9. forget about all this shit and try to be a normal person, and don't become a
even bigger hypochondriac.